Shinobi Therapists: The Society of Secret Keepers
by reebajee
Summary: Like ants spread across a field, nameless civilians are more than they seem. Individually insignificant, together they are the Society of Secret Keepers and they hold more sensitive information on the shinobi population than the Hokage himself. What political influence do therapists have on Konoha?
1. In a world

**Shinobi therapists**

A/N: Just a lil' bit of world building, how the Narutoverse would look if Shinobi had therapists. Feel free to use.

* * *

Ramen shops, hot springs, hair salons, anywhere gossip travels and is frequented by shinobi, faceless civilians are more than they seem. they are part of an inter familial organization called 'secret keepers' as old as the village itself, and their job is to know everything about every ninja in the village. It didn't used to be this way. It used to be that every ninja had a secret keeper, and every secret keeper had a group of shinobi. No information would pass between secret keepers on each other's clients. Yet as the time passed, the organization came under scrutiny. To keep themselves hidden from the very ninja they swore to protect, the secret keepers found it necessary to pool their information to keep an eye on the political picture as it skewed against them.

A shinobi's therapist is his greatest weakness. They hold all his secrets, pent up emotions and is the pillar on which he stands. They hide their identity so as to not be used as weapons against the very ninja they are trying to help. But the village council no longer thought it fit that the secret keepers remain anonymous and independent from the political structure. The council offered them protection in return for allowing the government a closer hand in their workings. Mistrust began to build as the organization refused to come out into the open. So though all of the shinobi relied on them to keep their mental health, some began to posed a threat as they pried into finding the therapists' true identities. Anonymity is the best protection, and the organization had good reason to stay separate from politics. They were the guardians of ninja privacy. They were the secret keepers. Success in their job required implicit trust between them and their patient without fear that anything they say would be leaked or held against them.

maintaining the independence of the organization allowed trust to breed between individuals and their therapist, but mistrust to grow between the village as a whole and the organization of secret keepers. They were an unmonitored organization that had access to more information than the Hokage. They held emotional power over every single shinobi. The council believed It was only time before the therapists started meddling and all of Konoha would turn into a bunch of puppets on strings.

The therapist are known to have enough shinobi skill to remain anonymous for over a century. All children in the village go to the academy to learn basic self defense. most civilian born children drop out, though few go on to become shinobi. The organization makes sure to have a select few members advance their shinobi career to draw suspicion away from their families. Each decoy is told how much attention they can attract. After all, in a ninja village being too un-noteworthy can be seen as very suspicious. The shinobi in the organization then go on to teach their relatives techniques out of the public eye and off the record. To the village, a civilian could have had barely passable grades at the academy and no ninja skills to go along with their normal profession, when in reality they could be highly skilled in the ninja arts due to secret and illegal training from within the organization of secret keepers. That was another reason why the village was wary of them; they were a significant part of the konoha population who's skills were unknown, unaccounted for, and not under the village's control. Their talents could be put to use defending the village, going on missions and bringing money into the economy rather than used to hide their identities.

The organization is mostly familial, though some members join by invitation from their own therapist. That way none of the ninja-turned-therapists know who else is in the organization, and they are not allowed to invite any of their clients. This guards against ninja being invited to join, only to take them down from the inside. Other members are recruited as children if a child from a therapist family deems that a classmate has potential. This makes up for children born to therapist families who are not suited for the profession, who end up becoming ninja in order to teach their relatives.

Precautions are made to keep secrecy, such as communicating by code. Anonymous messages are left in public places for other born-therapists or civilian recruited therapists to decipher. (Ninja recruited therapists are not taught the code.) For example if a therapist is not working well with a client they can post the person's name to be taken on by another who will leave a message saying it will be taken care of. The place where the messages are left would have to move often so that the code is not cracked.


	2. Kakashi

For all his tardiness, there is one appointment that Kakashi is never late to.

Keeper #47, codename Midori when consulting client D, does not feel particularly lucky to be the holder of said appointment. Just as the copy-nin is famous among ninja for his fighting prowess, he is just as renowned amongst the community of Secret Keepers for his… difficulty as a client. Of course, Secret Keepers don't discuss their clients' personal issues with each other unless it poses a risk to the safety of their organization, but news of deaths are made common knowledge throughout the village. Anyone knowing anything about Kakashi's past affiliations can guess that he's bound to be a little fucked up in the head. Watching everyone you've ever been close to die brutal deaths can do that to a person. Add to that his stubborn personality and the stick shoved up his scarecrow ass, and you've got a therapist's worst nightmare on your hands. So, when Kakashi arrived five minutes late to his appointment, when he's been at least a half hour early for years, it took all of Midori's self control not to get up and quit right then and there. Something was up and they were not looking forward to it.

* * *

"You're late." Midori said as soon as I came in. "Is something wrong?" They asked, before I could even make an excuse.

"Mah, just got lost on the road of life." I answered. "Nothing important."

The blurry figure before me nodded, and I let out a tiny sigh of relief they wouldn't go further into it. I knew arriving late would make them suspicious, but I just can't bring myself to get to missions on time nowadays and this one in particular I wasn't looking forward to.

"Why don't you take off your mask?" They asked, and I scratched my cheek in mock embarrassment, going with the plan. "I have a cold sore and a bit of acne, so I'd prefer to keep it on."

"Since when have you cared about appearances in front of me?" Midori replied.

I smirked, "Oh, just since I've been madly in love with you."

My secret keeper blinked very slowly, possibly rolling their eyes under their lids and said, "Or perhaps since you've started trying to lie to me."

I hunched my shoulders and sighed. "And they say _shinobi_ are paranoid."

"Stop fooling around Kakashi." Midori snapped. "You always get straight down to what you want to talk about. What are you avoiding?" They asked.

I blinked, then shook my head. "You're right." I admitted, deciding to switch tactics. "It's the massacre."

"Ah." Midori merely said. "Go on."

"We-well" I said, voice trembling slightly…

After I didn't continue, they asked, "You knew some Uchiha besides Obito right?"

"Yeah." I said, throat tight but voice under control.

"Tell me about them?"

I shook my head no.

"You were an acquaintance of Itachi's, were you not?" Midori prods.

Obito's eye stung and I felt tears begin to pool under my hitai-ate. I tensed up and tied it more securely around my head. Midori sighed and brought their chair closer.

"Recite shinobi rule number twenty five." They commanded.

"A shinobi must never show their tears." I answered.

Midori shook their head. "The full version."

"A shinobi must never show their tears to anyone but their secret keeper." I dutifully recited.

They nodded, and with well crafted kunai of words, truths that stung like antiseptic, and insights sharp as shuriken, Midori soon had me crying hard with both eyes. I broke down. I thought I'd have to fake this part, that's why I kept the mask, but it seemed my show of sorrow was genuine. Now all I needed was to get them closer. As I gasped and hiccupped from their 'purging of emotional wounds' that actually felt like being gutted alive, they came up beside me like always to rub my back. Now was the time. I felt so tired. My hands shook as I made the hand signs for silent capture, knowing it would soon be over. Something caught my wrist before I could make the last seal and I was thrown onto my stomach. Midori had me tied so quick I couldn't even blink. My eyes widened.

"Oh Kakashi." My secret keeper sighed. "They ordered you to do this, didn't they?"

I grit my teeth and said nothing.

"Will you attack again, or can we talk about this like civilized human beings?" Midori asked.

I said nothing.

"You were trying to take me somewhere." They said. "I can only assume it was the Torture and Interrogation unit, though you have my apologies if it really was just a picnic."

"Don't worry, you'll feel right at home in the T&I, it's exactly like what you do to me." I said with a sarcastic smile.

Midori nodded, equally sarcastically and said, "Yes, I'm sure that's why you keep coming back."

I said nothing.

"I'd really rather not go to T&I," Midori continued, "You know how slow bureaucracy works there, and it would be a shame if I had to miss our next appointment because I'm stuck in some torture cell. So why don't we just cut them out of the picture and you ask me what they want to know. I'll do my best to answer what I can."

I took a deep breath and stared into their blurry eyes with anger. "Why didn't you stop it?"

They blinked, seemingly taken aback. "What?"

"The massacre!" I yelled. "Why didn't Itachi's therapist report him? Why didn't they dissuade him? Doing nothing is as good as assisting his crime!"

Midori looked at me like… well I couldn't tell like what since their face was blurred out, but they stared at me. They contemplated their words for a moment then said, "What makes you think Itachi told his therapist anything?"

"Weather he did or didn't isn't the point." I growled. "You're supposed to stop this from happening! You're supposed to find and treat the psychos before they go off on a killing spree."

"Kakashi." Midori said. "While what happened is a tragedy, placing blame on the secret keepers isn't going to make you feel better."

"That's. Not. What. I'm. Doing!" I shouted. "Could you for once stop psycho-analyzing me and give a straight answer? This isn't our session anymore. This isn't about me. This is about the Secret Keepers."

"Well I'm afraid I can't speak for all Keepers."

"Too bad." I told them.

They hummed. "So you're my interrogator now?

"Yes, you made me your interrogator when you stopped me from taking you in." I told them.

"Very well. Interrogate me." Midori sighed, walking around behind my back to point out that I was still tied down while they were free moving. They took a seat back in front of me.

I took a deep breath to calm my nerves before beginning. "What did you know about the Massacre before it happened?"

"Before it happened? Nothing." They said.

"Who was Itachi's Secret Keeper?"

"I don't know."

"Who would know?"

"I don't know."

I growled in frustration, aching to use my sharingan on them, but not being able to lift my hitai-ate while my hands were tied.

"I'm not lying." Midori told me. "I really don't know those things."

"If you did know, would you tell me?" I asked.

They scratched their chin in thought. "Well, the only way I'd know anything about the massacre is if I was Itachi's Secret Keeper. And if I was his Secret Keeper and he ever mentioned possibly killing his clan, I'd ask why. And if he was just nuts and felt like it, or wanted revenge for putting him in under stress, then yes, I probably would tell you. So the first question depends on his reasons. The second two, I wouldn't tell you if I knew. I wouldn't hand over the identity of Itachi's Secret Keeper or any person who would know Itachi's Secret Keeper. I would tell you that I know who they are, but not give away their identities."

I sighed and formulated my next question. "What do you mean only Itachi's Secret Keeper could know about it beforehand? Don't you tell each other these things?"

"No. Law of the Secret Keepers #14: Secret Keepers work independently." Midori answered monotonously.

I frowned, unable to tell if they were lying. "If Itachi told you he was going to do that, would you try to convince him not to?"

"Law of the Secret Keepers #23: It is not our job to influence shinobi. Only to heal them." Midori replied.

"Is that a no?" I asked.

They sighed. "Look, I can tell you what I would have done if I were Itachi's Secret Keeper, but not what anyone else would do."

"Are there no protocols for something like this?" I say skeptically.

"Just the Laws of the Secret Keepers." They answer. "Law of the Secret Keepers #24: If a client admits to considering taking illegal actions, heal the wound at the root of such thoughts."

I growled in frustration, finally understanding how annoying it must have been back when I recited the shinobi rules as answers to every question.

"Tell me," Midori said conversationally, "Who ordered you to take me in? Was it the Hokage? Danzo?" I said nothing and they shrugged casually. "Eh, it was worth a shot. It doesn't matter in the end. Whoever it was, are you going to be in trouble for failing your mission?" Midori asked, seemingly genuine concern laced in their voice, despite the fact that I had tried to take kidnap them and had just been interrogating them. A mix of guilt, indignation and embarrassment washed over me. I felt a hand on my face and Midori gently pulled my mask down. "It must be conflicting, to be ordered to take out your own Seecret Keeper." They mused. "I don't blame you Kakashi." Midori told me.

Tears sprung in my eyes once more and I looked away. "Do you forgive me?" I mumbled.

"There's nothing to forgive." Midori replied.

And just like that I burst into tears and our session resumed.


	3. Danzō

Shimura Danzo's coded request to see a therapist stirred ripples of shock and unrest throughout the entire Secret Keeper Community. That the very man who hadn't seen a therapist in decades and had in fact refused to go since the midst of the first world war and whose teammate Uchiha Kagame couldn't even persuade otherwise; who was indirectly responsible for the Second Hokage's decision to revoke the First's decree (that all Shinobi must regularly meet with a Secret Keeper) when approached about his subordinate's absences _Because we are in a bloody war god damn it and I don't care what my sentimental brother says because we don't have time to talk about feelings,_ the very man who had started his own branch of ANBU comprised of abducted children whom he emotionally abused into becoming tools and who he forbade to see therapists in order to 'keep at least a few soldiers out of the grasp of those meddling Secret Keepers', that the man who's original therapist had committed suicide for failing his client so utterly, wished to see one _now_ of all times, was enough to make any fool with an ounce of brains feel suspicious.

The fact that he used the Classified Secret Keeper's Code to state his demand was even more so. Sure, it was only a level 1 security clearance code used mainly for advertizing less-sensitive information such as a need for a new session location due to damage done by a client, but the fact that he new such a code existed at all was still concerning.

Thus, a meeting was held in person for the first time in years, identity cloaking jutsu in place, and a plan of action to be formed. Some were hesitant for Danzō's request to be fulfilled at all after he had so skillfully scorned them for so many years, seeded doubt of their trustworthiness in the shinobi system, and kept so many children from the help they so desperately needed. But denying him out of spite was not the way of the Secret Keepers, nor would it abate Danzō's suspicion of them in the least. And so it was decided, that Secret Keeper #117 codename Natsuki in concerns to client Shimura, would write letters to his/her other clients in case of his/her death and meet with councilman Shimura Danzō at the specified location equipped with suicide pill in case of capture.

So it was that SK#117 codename Natsuki planned to die by that name as they waited for Councilman Danzō to spell their certain death. Danzō entered the room, and were he/she not so nervous, Natsuki may have noticed the henge placed over who they assumed to be their last client. Natsuki was not chosen for their skill as a ninja, since no Secret Keeper could possibly hope to defeat Danzō, nor even for their skill as a therapist since the best of those had too many clients depending on them to throw their lives away. Not that Natsuki was a bad therapist or shinobi, it was just that he/she was the most expendable. That didn't make the threat of death any more bearable.

Danzō sat down and the session began. "What is your name, child?" He asked in a gravely voice, and Natsuki felt their teeth grind, because something was _off_ but he/she couldn't figure out _what._

"My name is Natsuki." He/She answered, "What is it you would like to talk about?"

Then, to Natsuki's utter surprise, Shimura Danzō sheepishly rubbed the back of his head… with the arm that was supposed to be _incapacitated_ in a _sling_. "Oh, it's kind of embarrassing ya know?… I don't know if I can tell you." Danzō said.

Natsuki narrowed her/his eyes, all the while staring at Danzō's arm. "I'm sure it's nothing worse than some things I've heard, Danzō sama. Besides, I cannot help you unless you tell me."

The supposed Danzō noticed Natsuki's gaze and quickly dropped his arm from behind his head and stuffed it back into the sling. "Oh that? Ha ha, I uh, just keep it like that for appearances really. But you'll keep it a secret, right? Of course you will, you're a secret keeper." He cleared his throat. "Actually what I wanted to talk about is…" and here he looked around hastily for intruders, leaned forward and whispered, "poop." He leaned back in his chair nodding sagely. "I pooped my pants the other day when I was doing important stuff with old ma- I mean the Hokage and-"

Natsuki sighed heavily and pinched their brow, the adrenaline and endorphins from the fear of death crashing down and leaving them in a heavy slump. "Naruto." Natsuki said. "This isn't funny."

The blathering about various kinds of fecal matter stopped, along with a puff of smoke around the form of Shimura Danzō, replaced by Konoha's number one unpredictable hyperactive knuckle headed ninja, Uzumaki Naruto. "Oh come on! Everyone thinks poop is funny!" The blond boy exclaimed with a grin.

Natsuki had to take several very deep breaths and rub their face with their hands repeatedly in order to stop from snapping at the client. For now he/she bottled up all the anger until she/he could talk to their own Secret Keeper about this mess. "Why did you do this Naruto? Pulling pranks is not the only and far from the best way to get attention. And why Danzō?" Natsuki eventually got out.

Naruto waved his hand dismissively, "Yeah yeah, that's what my Secret Keeper tells me all the time too. But nothing else works! Oh, and Danzō? I chose him cause I didn't like the way he looked at me. It was, it was different from how everyone else looks at me, but I still don't like it. It made feel like a bunch of meat! Or a kunai! Or a thing! But I'm not a thing, I'm Uzumaki Naruto dattebayo!"

Natsuki could only shake their head. "You are observant, I'll give you that. But you need to think about how your actions affect others. Councilman Danzō is a very important person, and you made a lot of therapists nervous by using our secret code to demand a meeting under his name. We're giving you the opportunity to be the very first field therapist, and even taught you the secret code. We trusted you not to abuse that knowledge Naruto, and you betrayed us." Natsuki watched as the little boy before him slowly melted into his seat in shame.

"I- I didn't mean to…" Naruto mumbled, looking down.

Natsuki sighed. "I know you didn't Naruto. Just don't do it again, okay? And think about how your pranks affect other people. You still want to help people like your Secret Keeper helped you, right?"

"Of course!" Naruto yelled, perking up. "I promise I'll never do it again! I'll make people notice me by being nice, just like Hazuki-Keeper told me! I'll think more before I do stuff so I don't accidentally hurt people with my pranks, and I'll become the very best super-secret field-therapist shinobi Hokage ever and make everyone happy so that they love me!"

"That's the spirit" Natsuki said wearily "go forth and be awesome…"

"Will-do, Natsa-whatever-yernameis!" Naruto shouted and bolted out the door.

Natsuki collapsed, finally taking the suicide pill out of their mouth and holding it in front of their eyes. They sighed, and made their way to the bar.

* * *

A/N: I am now taking requests for characters you'd like to see in therapy. Leave a review or PM me.

I'm also experimenting in tenses, POVs and writing style, so leave a comment about what you think works or doesn't work. (For instance I'm not sure how I feel about the previous chapter being in Kakashi's point of view and if he is out of character at all. Tell me what you think.)

Until next time!


End file.
